This headache has not stopped since New Years Eve.
Okay, that’s a lie. There were about two days a month ago where my head was okay and those days were GLORIOUS. They passed and since then I’ve been back to wanting to gouge out the pain sensors in my brain.
It’s not a bad headache, it’s just persistent. It is making my life difficult while I try to concentrate and write and read books to meet my goal for the year.
Don’t worry, I’m getting it checked out. I’m severely anaemic and on all the iron – seriously at this point I might as well just eat a crowbar three times a day. I have a condition called IIH that could be causing it but I’m 90% sure it isn’t that, mostly due to the fact I can still see (though I had an MRI on Saturday just to check).
All of this is exhausting. All of this makes me want to bury under a large pile of fluffy blankets and refuse to emerge until someone figures out how to make my body function.
Instead… I knit.
Knitting doesn’t require much thought. Sure, you can pick up a lace pattern and grow a few extra wrinkles in your frowny forehead, but that’s not how I role this year so far. I’m knitting all the socks. Ones that I can do without needing to think too much or focus on anything more complicated than the occasional cable.
The movements are meditative and the yarn is soft and comforting. The colours (usually red or purple at the moment) soothe me. When I don’t have the energy or concentration to do anything else, knitting takes over.
There are many reasons to knit but it’s when I’m at my most vulnerable that I find the most satisfaction from it.